dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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