pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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