shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
