You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
