I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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