nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
