There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
