i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
