Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
