My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize