Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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