I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
