So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
