My sheets look like a crime scene.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
How's work?
Spinning.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
