yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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