why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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