We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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