He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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