Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
