Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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