In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
