clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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