Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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