i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize