Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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