hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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