Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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