You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
