Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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