You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize