Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
