he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
