before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
