the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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