There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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