i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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