i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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