OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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