those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
