Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
