Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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