Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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