So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
