dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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