another moral hangover. fuck.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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