He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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