we're blogging at a bar
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize