It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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