Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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