Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
