Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
