I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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