great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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