I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
