Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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