If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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