Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
