Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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