How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
