i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
