11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize