Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
