The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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