2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
