have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
