Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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