"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
