i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
