Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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