how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize