Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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