I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
