Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Someone came in the potted fern
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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