You're so nebulous sometimes
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
