You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Boobs speak an international language.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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