I swear god or herbie drove my car home
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
