My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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