I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
