Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
