so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
