After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
