your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
