So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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