i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
