it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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