Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
