Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
